An American in Footscray

nighty night

2008-07-26T05:48:00.003+10:00

moving forward... the previous post probably should have been written two months ago or so, but I wasn't in the frame of mind to make words.

I could have not posted about the ugly, but out of respect to all of us (everyone) who has suffered over the last 4 years, between leaving the states to leaving OZ, we have all shed many tears and those need some form of recognition.... It didn't seem right to have the story of footscray on here without it.

With that in mind... this blog is an american in footscray and alas that american is no longer in footscray... but the LBC :)

I have been feeling much better over the last few weeks as I have begun to dream of what life here might look like. I have been enjoying the bike and the beauty of the ocean. The bike has been a God send! The girls both have jobs they are enjoying and are adjusting to a new life. John is nearing the end of a vow and a sabbatical and is ready to run again. I'm enjoying the creative part of my brain being back in action... for some reason it was not functioning much in OZ. I'm seeing things differently, and enjoying it. Not to mention at least one ticket has been bought and an Ozzy is coming !! Can't wait for Nov Chris ! :)

So this is the end of an american in footscray... I'm putting her to sleep for now.... I'll probably start another one and put a link for it on here... I'm not going to delete it as I don't want to loose the content. Just let it lie dormant (not much different than before :)

good night my few little readers ;)

from the other side of the pacific

Love,
Raquel

facebook lies

2008-07-24T05:13:00.003+10:00

Keeping it real... (dare I?)

As I write those words I know that no one really wants to. Who wants to know the ugly knitty gritty? but we do have a responsibility to report the truth, at least to honor those who have gone before us, and those who are packing their bags going today...

I was talking with a good friend of mine about the perseption that things like facebook gives ... I was on the verge of deleting my face book (probably will if I ever get 100 friends.... ha friends)

here's a quote from my friend during that conversation that has inspired me today;

"Its quite difficult to "see" how your move back to the states has effected you negetively. "

"in my mind it was like some wonderful homecoming to all your friends for you all or something...."

I knew from the moment that we chose to move to Oz that we were screwed. I knew that we were making a choice that would include lots of pain. That from now on part of me would be in two places.

I knew when we had chosen to move back to the states, again there would be a lot of pain. The people closest to us are very aware of this reality. We all choose pain together. The people who made the choice to get close to us knowing that someday we would go back are champions in my book.

It's all quite risky business... not everyone was up for it. In making that choice you choose pain, but you also choose to live in the moment and man, it's so worth it....

once the pain subsides....

but let me tell you the pain does not subside quickly or at the sight of someone you spent 4 years missing.

The pictures are stuck in your head of the faces of your loved ones at the airport... not to mention the faces of the girl's friends sobbing and reaching out.... can't write about that yet.... ouch!

When you get "home" you love seeing your friends and family... and it fills you with great love....

then the reality that you can't "go back" and I'm not talking about going back to OZ, hits you in the face like a ton of bricks. Life has gone on quite nicely without you, and you wouldn't have it any other way... but now what do you do?

The busyness of the American lifestyle shouts out to you that your close friends don't have much time for you, and you try to just breath and start all over... again....

holding your flailing family together as they suffer loss and reentry.

And yes... life goes on in oz and the voices of your close friends fade as the emails don't come and the phone doesn't ring...

so today we say a prayer for those missionaries who have gone before us and who are packing their bags and leaving today. Saying goodbye to friends and family heading out to the unknown. Drawn only by a conviction that brings great scrutiny... God speed fellow followers.... God speed

beauty

2008-07-01T05:47:00.002+10:00

sometimes when you least expect it something amazing appears... my own little northern lights in my living room on a Sunday afternoon above the dvd player... I'm so glad I looked up from the TV!

here's one more

being positive

2008-05-29T15:46:00.004+10:00

Today I'm being thankful for the little things;

dishwasher

nice gas stove

all the new appliances (that came with the apartment)

a toilet door that closes properly and lacks the smell of dead things under the sink

the lack of mice, rats, maggots, moths, huntsmans, assorted other spiders, other creatures of the night (at least for now)

the sea breeze

a beautiful blue sky today

cheyenne's new job has made her happy

nice neighbors

trader joes

walking

eucalyptus trees everywhere

the smell of spring

small birds

better shows on tv

I finally got skype AND headphones

music!

art

good health

healthy kids

and lots more

feel free to add what little things you are thankful for....

some days it takes me a long time to think of one thing.... those days, all the more, I have to be thankful

one for the artists

2008-04-28T16:41:00.004+10:00

ok, so you know how I'm not too bright? I just stumbled unto the "watts towers"... growing up in southern California everyone has heard of the "watts towers"... I just always thought that they were a building like the projects... where there were riots and stuff... OK, so it's not a building, it's a piece of art. Are you familiar with it? here's a link I found that inspired me and made me think of a good friend, especially the "bone yard"... miss you josh!

http://cabinet-of-wonders.blogspot.com/2007/12/places-we-make-for-ourselves.html

http://www.trywatts.com/tower_tour/

back

2008-04-17T10:09:00.002+10:00

me and writing don't mix well. The part of my brain that over thinks everything shuts down the part of my brain that has thoughts... I feel like I have to write even if nothing interesting or worth writing comes out. So here I go whether I like it or not.

Leaving pretty much sucked...

Upon arriving in the states I wax and wane between feeling like I'm on holiday and like the last 4 years were all a dream. So I guess you could say it's all pretty surreal.

Everything looks a little bit different. Which makes sense considering I'm standing left of center now. your vantage point changes everything.

from a lepers point of view (maybe)

2007-12-16T21:03:00.000+11:00

an exercise in imagination:

from a lepers point of view (maybe);

who do I say I am? unclean... well that is until this man one day. I warned him of my state... I warned him to stay away... my bell rang out to warn if he came too close he would get dirty. Until that day I was a leper.

As long as I can remember I've been this way. So dirty, so ashamed... no one will touch me. only children will look at me before they learn it's impolite.

for years I tried to hide my shame, but there's no way to hide it now... I wear my shame on my face. so now I ring my bell with pride... that's right, I'm a leper, that's just who I am. you better stay away...

well until that day with that man who didn't listen to me. Was he deaf? Did he have a death wish? didn't he know that I would make him unclean?

A touch that I will never forget and can't explain...

but you see the problem since then isn't the leprosy. It's gone.... but honestly there are days I still feel so unclean. You see it's who I was. Who I am? I knew my place in this world...

Now who am I? I'm clean? but what does that mean? some days I ring the bell for comfort. silly I know. some days ... most days, I sit outside the city gates. I feel more comfortable there. I struggle to not pull back when children reach out to touch me. then I remember...

Every time I look down at my hand and see the clean skin I hear his voice in my head "you are no longer unclean"

some days I believe it... some days I don't.

update

2007-10-30T09:21:00.000+11:00

our thoughts and prayers go out to all of you affected by the fires...

Adriahna graduated from high school on Friday. There was a small assembly at her school in the gym at 11:37am. One teacher spoke and one student spoke. A power point slide show of the girls and then a quick handing out of certificates. There were about 15 parents and others there. Quite a contrast to an American graduation! Afterwards we had lunch together (the year 12 girls, their teachers and the few parents that were there). I guess it's usually held at night so more parents can go, but the girl's school is so small I think they are big slackers :) There were 45 girls graduating and 400 total in the school now.

Adriahna still has exams to go (first few weeks of November). All of the year 12 students are stressed. I won't go into how the system works here, but their whole ability to get into university relies on these exams. Once they are over Adriahna will truly be done and will breath a lot easier. She will then go back to work and make $$ for the future.

Our future still hangs in the balance as we haven't heard back from immigration yet regarding our sponsorship. This is making us all crazy and me and John are taking two weeks off right now to re group ourselves.

Cheyenne is wrapping up year 10. She is stressed with a lot of homework and all the normal things. She will also have exams in November and then the end of this school year is in Dec. (yes, it's summer here). She will probably have her jaw surgery during the break over Christmas. She is looking/not looking forward to having it. She is keen to have it all finished. She is very happy her teeth are now all straight :)

I am finished working at the cafe for now, and haven't done any mosaicing for quite awhile.

John is happy it's cricket season again. He is working hard and keeps busy between all the churches, jiu jitsu, cricket and local community stuff.

The churches are going well. I'll go into all the details another time.

Winsoton is well, and very cute.

We will be going to America in April for weddings. So I think that I will be figuring out a way to make a lot of $$ over the next 5 months.

If our visa is denied. We will be moving back in April as our current visa expires in May.

We love you all and miss you very much!

the jensens

tour of our house...sorry if it takes long to load, lots o' pics

2007-09-22T13:43:00.000+10:00

a tour of our house... this is the front of the house (surprise)
Our house is on the left, Chris' on the right. Click on image to
see larger view.

front door

through the front door down the hallway

first door on left, our room

more of our room

second door on left Jess' room

third door on left the girls room

Ade desk

Cheyenne collage

through to the living room

living room

through to dinning room/computer room

through to kitchen
(right of bathroom)

Winston breaking it down in the kitchen where it's "@"

first bathroom (left of the kitchen)

past the light orange curtain is the laundry room

to the right of the laundry room is the second "toilet"

my art installation
feel free to rearrange the
toilet paper rolls while you wait
that's what they are there for
(yes I spend my time painting
toilet paper rolls black and white)

through to the backyard

backyard facing the house

Winston lounging in our posh "backyard"
the dirt patch on the left used to be covered by
an asbestos encrusted shed. It has been removed,
and I have now planted some grass

John's succelents

the landlord has failed to finish the job

over the fence is Chris' back yard
(he can run, but he can't hide)

stencils

2007-09-20T15:51:00.001+10:00

Adriahna's stencils

violence

2007-09-04T08:25:00.000+10:00

Here's an attempt at writing fast (like John does) and not over thinking and analyzing. My brain is already objecting... stupid right side of brain.

So there have definitely been themes of non violence, peace, and activism over the last four months or so. About a month ago Adriahna got to experience it all first hand.

She was with a friend walking to a bus stop in downtown Footscray around 7:00pm on a Friday night. A random girl walked up to them and started yelling at Adriahna. The girl pushed Adriahna and called her a few choice names. (she had never seen this girl before) The girl then punched Ade (Adriahna) in the face. Ade was in a state of shock and her friend Linda was asking what was going on, assuming that she knew this girl. The girl then walked away toward a group of friends and turned around and came back saying she got the wrong girl, apologized to Adriahna and went after Lynda. Lynda handed Adriahna her wallet and was going to have a go at this girl who towered over Adriahna (Lynda, who is Asian, comes up to my chest). Ade stood in the middle of them insisting that it all stop. The girl then snatched the wallet and took off with her friends. Lynda tried to go after the wallet because she had almost $200 in it. Ade stopped Lynda and got her to walk away. They went into a near by shop that Lynda's family owns. The girls told what happened and from behind the counter they proceeded to take out a big metal bar to go after the girls. Adriahna again insisted that it all stop and kept them from going after the girls with their weapons. She then called me and came home. John convinced her and Lynda to file a police report and they did later that night.

She was very shaken up with a bruise on her cheek. She said that the most shocking thing was that there were loads of people around and they didn't do anything. Ade had to keep insisting that her friends from school (she has a lot of them) didn't retaliate the next day. Lynda knew who one of the girls in the group were.

A few days later someone in our broader community gave Ade a note with $100 in it and said it was to help replace what was lost. Ade got to give that $$ to Lynda and show her another way of dealing with the shit things that happen in life with community and love. I was so impressed with Ade and her desire to stay nonviolent, and the fact that the very next day she got up and went about her business as usual. She was shaken up, but was not going to let that stop her. Off she went to school and work in Footscray.

we don't know much, but we know that violence never solved violence. It only perpetuates it. I'm sure part of me wanted her to use her jiu jitsu and choke the girl out, but what's the point and where does that end?

Man must evolve for all human conflict a method which rejects revenge, aggression and retaliation. The foundation of such a method is love.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Have we not come to such an impasse in the modern world that we must love our enemies - or else? The chain reaction of evil - hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars - must be broken, or else we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

June 18th - August 29th

2007-08-29T09:14:00.000+10:00

wow, two months goes by FAST!

Jerrod left on Monday and on Thursday we started our road trip to Queensland. Ten of us went in a van and my car. We stayed the night in Sydney on the way there and back. It took us about 12 hours to get to Sydney and then over 15 to get to the conference. We had a great time. very inspiring and educational. We met heaps of awesome people. We arrived there Fri night and the conference went until noon on Sun. We then drove into Brisbane and stayed the night in Westend with Vonney Andrews and fam. They were brilliant. Imagine putting up 10 people. We began the horrible drive back on Monday. Note to self, "fly"! three of our crew stayed on in westend to do a course with Dave Andrews. It's a hell of a drive for a weekend. But was worth it, and I've now seen much more Oz country side including New South Wales and Queensland.

Got home and went straight back to work at the cafe making lates' to fill in for someone for two weeks. Then Shane and his mom arrived. We spent 3 or 4 days doing the whole tourist thingy with them. They are beautiful people. Full of grace and a strong southern drawl. Shane was very humble (specially for a super star ;) ) It was very encouraging to hear about how they do community in Philly. He's a very unassuming kinda guy, and then he got on stage at the Surrender conference and blew my socks off, and then his mom gave me a pair of socks before they left. Thanks Pat! (not that she would ever see this) He did several speaking engagements and I got to be the driver and then listen in. Most of what he talked about either came from his book or the "Schools for Conversion 12 Marks of a New Monasticism" book. The surrender conference was good. I spent most of my time making coffees (theme of my life in oz). My help didn't show up and I worked my ass off :) Didn't hear many of the speakers. I was at this time kind of over the whole conference thing (as I usually am). Did have a few nice moments and revelations on my own, I'll share those another day. A good friend of mine gave me a book that I'm reading right now it rocks about Julian of Norwich.

We were supposed to have a break after Surrender, but life does have many breaks right now. I've been working at the cafe on and off. The week before last, I did have a week off and it was nice. I had a great day of fasting and had such a rich time with God during some much needed peace and quiet. We have another visitor right now Ciaron OReilly. He's hear from Brisbane. I'm getting too tired trying to explain people :) http://www.peaceontrial.com/
He's a catholic worker Christian anarchist pacifist.... to me he's a cool guy. He's down to earth, funny and I would now consider him a friend. Maybe a future husband for one of my catholic friends in the states ;) (he regrets not marrying)

Aug 13th was our 19 year anniversary... I've now been married more than 1/2 my life... weird at 37. Adriahna has decided to move back to the states to start her uni education towards becoming a Dr. Cheyenne is stressing over what to do with her life. Both want to go third world. Our visa is still in flux. Waiting for approval for the next two years. Planning to move back after Cheyenne graduates in two years. But may be sent back in May when our current visa expires. I'm sure some of you will have your fingers crossed, some not ;)

I have so much more to say, but alas have been called into the cafe to work lunch :)
I'll wrote more soon, promise!
Love,
Raquel

update

2007-06-28T09:55:00.000+10:00

Things are going well here.  Plugging along.  Our
church community has multiplied into another house
church making 3 total.  Our little group left in
Footscray is working out what the next season
look like for us.  We have the same community things
as before, just wondering what more we can do to love
people in this area.  We still meet every Sunday
morning for breakfast and then a chat, we have
community dinner on Tues. night, prayer on Thurs.
night.  We all live quiet close now except one lady
who is about a 15 min drive away. 

We have been shifting rooms around to fit more people
in these two houses that us and Chris have.  Nick is
next door now and a girl named Jess has moved in with
us.  She got kicked out of another community and had
no where to go. We wanted her to come here, so she did. 

I'm still mosaicing two days a week in the morning.  I
get called into the cafe on an occasion to fill in
(they are pregnant again!).  I'm still involved in the
Ascot Vale community called the Cave.  I'm there on
Sundays with a beautiful bunch of people.  I try to
head down on a Tue or Thurs for the drop in center.
"Try" being the key word there.  I get busy running
around. 

I have a few friends that I'm accountable to and meet
with once a week (when we can).  I'm brain
storming with another friend on doing some youth
program during school holidays for kids in the area.
We want to do an art project... thinking
about that one.

John has been doing heaps of guest speaking.  Last
weekend we went out to the state youth games where
there were 2,500 kids.  I've never seen anything like
it in OZ.  My back was out and I hobbled around like a
100 year old lady.  I hated it, but John did good.  I
went home early. 

We have a guest speaker staying with us right now, Jarrod McKenna. 
He is amazing, and I'll put a link on here to what he is
doing, or you can just google his name.


http://gatheringinlight.com/2006/12/13/jarrod-mckenna-and-the-peace-tree-
receive-quaker-peace-award/


We are driving to Brisbane next weekend for a road
trip to the "Christian anarchist conference" with 10
people in our group.  It's a 22 hour drive one way!!
:)  crazy. 

here's some info on that;

http://anz.jesusradicals.com/

we will also stay the night in a community in Brisbane and
some of our girls will stay behind to do a week long course.

info on them;

http://www.waitersunion.org/

My girls are doing exams right now and stressed to
the gills.  They are getting great grades, and want to
keep that up.  Their passion for nursing is getting
greater as they want to go overseas and help. 


There is another conference coming up next month and
the speaker is staying with us again.  (very full
house).  He is Shane Clabourne the author of
"The Irrisitable Revolution".  His book is a must read. 

here's some info on them;

http://www.thesimpleway.org/community/function.html


http://www.thesimpleway.org/

In two weeks we are leading a discussion on being in
ministry with children.  People around here aren't
sure what it looks like to do both. 

We will be coming next April for John's brother
Keith's wedding!  That can't come soon enough :)

OK, I think that's enough info :)

Heaps of Love,
Raquel

more on time

2007-05-31T14:50:00.000+10:00

more on time I suppose.

Today I had a flash back while I was at my hair dressers.

While I was telling Mel (my hairdresser) to take a little more off around the ears I remembered sitting in the chair at my friend Erick's salon probably 15 years ago and telling him to make sure my ears and forehead didn't show, and to try to make my nose look smaller. For years this is how we cut my hair. Interesting if you could see my hair now... It's shorter and brighter than ever, and I'm heavier than I've ever been (even more than when I gave birth) and somehow I'm more comfortable in my skin than ever...

what happened between then and now?

I attribute all positive change to God. But I've been thinking more about the specifics of that. A lot has happened in the last 15 years... a lot! I couldn't begin to reiterate everything so here's a few key things I contribute the change to...

obedience to what I believe I was supposed to do... including, but not limited to; getting therapy, going on meds, letting go of some major things, fighting for some very important things, being faithful in the small things, seeing things through other people's eyes, finding my own identity, not caring so much about what other people think, not accepting things that simply aren't as they are supposed to be... sometimes you have to fight... most the time you have to fight... unless mediocrity is appealing to you..... it's not easy...

Time

2007-04-20T18:05:00.000+10:00

Time

I often hear the saying is there ever enough of it? If we had more, would there be enough? I guess what we choose to do with our TIME is everything. Or I guess what we choose NOT to do with our time.

I have a friend who is dieing of cancer. She is more full of life than I am. The only difference between me and her is that I don't know when I will die. Time...

FORGE is asking us to change our sponsorship because we don't work for them much anymore. Which is fine as the Red Network is happy to sponsor us. Many things during this process has woken us up again to the reality that someday we will leave Melbourne. Anytime you adjust your visa you run the risk of being denied. We are used to this, but this means they could send us home sooner than we thought. As it is, Cheyenne really wants to finish High School here and that's about 2 1/2 years away. If it's God's plan we will shoot for that. Time...

We think that when our time here is done we will be heading back to the states. We are seriously considering moving to Long Beach. I can't help but feel that will not be our last stop either.

Time is a scary thing as I'm realizing that my daughters are quickly going to be moving on too. They could even both decide to stay here (God forbid!!!) at that time as they will both be adults. Time is a crazy and sometimes scary thing. Pregnancy took forever, but the last 18 years have flown by. And again, today's lunch rush at the cafe seemed to go slow.

I am very glad I put all the time I did into my girls while I had the chance! There are other relationships in the states I feel I put my time into too. Beautiful (sometimes ugly) days I wouldn't change for anything. I don't know if I've put the same effort into my time here in OZ.

What I would like to see begin here before we go is more people living in real community with each other. Relationships with people change people; I haven't seen anyone change without it. What is love anyway?

So what I've done is cut down all of my work hours. I gave my last week at the cafe and have gone down to only two 3 hour days mosaicing. Time.... time is money... but I've decided that time is more important, and I know God will sort out the money, He already is.

Time for people...

Time to make a difference...

And someday there will be a time to leave Melbourne...

and someday again to leave this life all together...

(sounds very Ecclesiastes)

Here's some current pics of my beautiful girls

They will get mad at me for this :)

coming and going

2007-03-15T20:36:00.000+11:00

I bet you thought I was never going to do this again? whaaaat? It's only been since November?

Coming and going is hard.
I hope the more I do it the easier it will get?

If I had to use one word to define what God is teaching me right now it would be "freedom". I imagine that most of what He desires for us comes down to freedom. Freedom means different things to different people, but I suppose the vibe of the word is always the same.

I had a few "revelations" more like thoughts about this, during my time away.

before my trip this scripture was speaking a lot to me. I would use the first verse as a definition of freedom.

Phillipians
12I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength.

during my trip the second half came to life.

I was having another argument with God (what's new?) This time I was feeling overwhelmed by some things to do with my life, and was fet up with the sensation of "I just can't do it". For once I wanted God to ask me to do something I felt capable of doing. Then I realized that "not" being able to do something is kind of the point. Then the second verse became very clear. I don't think you can do the first verse without the other responsibly. Shutting down and ignoring your circumstances is irresponsible, and going it on your own is impossible and often also irresponsible.

Freedom from whatever binds you, whatever wraps itself around your feet and wont let go, whatever enslaves you, what owns you, whatever you worry or obsess about, whatever keeps you up at night, freedom from sin, freedom from even death itself... this seems to be the business of Jesus.

Isaiah 61:1

The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me,Because the LORD has anointed meTo bring good news to the afflicted;He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,To proclaim liberty to captivesAnd freedom to prisoners;

Luke 4
17And the book of the prophet Isaiah was handed to Him (Jesus). And He opened the book and found the place where it was written,
18"THE SPIRIT OF THE LORD IS UPON ME,
BECAUSE HE ANOINTED ME TO PREACH THE GOSPEL TO THE POOR.
HE HAS SENT ME TO PROCLAIM RELEASE TO THE CAPTIVES,
AND RECOVERY OF SIGHT TO THE BLIND,
TO SET FREE THOSE WHO ARE OPPRESSED,
19TO PROCLAIM THE FAVORABLE YEAR OF THE LORD."

20And He closed the book, gave it back to the attendant and sat down; and the eyes of all in the synagogue were fixed on Him.

21And He began to say to them, "Today this Scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing."

I think that's pretty cool

profound revelations

2006-12-11T18:44:00.000+11:00

ok, now that I got your attention here's a little something I thought about this week. So since my last post I have been feeling a new sense of God around me. I've felt as though my eyes have been opened once again. Seeing God's upside down kingdom everywhere. Then one day (Monday to be specific) I felt as though it left. The difference was night and day, and I really wondered what happened. So I searched my brain (which took quit sometime) and can now pinpoint the exact moment something changed (weird huh?)

It happened on a Sunday at church (kinda ironic). I was watching this slide show of a ladies orphanage in India. I saw the most beautiful kids and my heart melted. I thought about how I wanted to get on a plane and go there right now. I should be mother Theresa. I want to go take care of kids with no parents. The mother of the motherless... you get the point.

What I later realize was at that very moment something switched in my heart. It was a subconscious thing. I'm sure you can already see what happened, but I'll go on anyway...

Something happens inside us/me when we think we should be somewhere else. When we don't live in the present day as chosen by God and exactly where we are supposed to be. An even bigger something happens when we think that at another time we will then be fulfilled/complete.

If you can't find "it" where you are now, you'll never find "it".

"It" is in you, "it" is all around you. It's actually not just out of reach. Even though it's simpler to believe so.

PS: I'm still sending custom made bracelets to all the girls in the orphanage.

my peeps

2006-11-27T18:00:00.000+11:00

Housework... can you ever get enough of it? it's great. It's always there and always demanding my attention.

I hadn't tutored much for a couple of weeks while moving and such, and I felt like something was missing. I realized it was spending time with these beautiful families. What is hard is that after work on Wednesday I'm really tired and there are always other things that need to be done. I go straight from work to tutor and then come home and make dinner and go to bed. Wed. is a non stop day.

This last Wed. I called the house to make sure the mom was home before I drove out there (it takes at least 30 min.) she didn't answer the phone. I got a little excited thinking she wasn't home and I could stay home and do housework that really needed to be done. I had one more # to try and her husband said she was home and to go. So I did.

On my way home after spending a few hours with her and her family I felt great. We spent time talking about our lives. She told me (as much as she can) about where she comes from. I felt so filled up on my way home and realized (again) that life is all about connecting with other people. All the other stuff really doesn't matter.

So many times we need to do exactly the opposite of what we feel like doing, especially when we are tired.

The fact is that I will never feel like I've had enough rest. My house will never be totally clean. If it is, it will only last for 5min because of my choice to live with people. Putting people first is not easy. It's highly inconvenient. But it's the food of life that will fill you for more than 30 min.

these are the Nuba Mountains where Khamesia's family comes from in Sudan

Happy Thanksgiving

2006-11-25T19:21:00.000+11:00

Happy Thanksgiving! John is crazy, as you all know, so we had 60 people at the cave for an ozzy turkey day. We made three turkeys and had them spread out in different ovens around the town. It was very nice, and it's always fun to watch people's faces as they try things like pumpkin pie and green bean casserole...

pics

2006-11-06T20:47:00.000+11:00

A very short lived experiment of pictures of the food left on my plate.

a little tong action!

meerkats at Werriby Zoo

telstra

2006-11-06T20:02:00.000+11:00

We moved! Moving is always fun. Getting the phone connected and the internet up is even more fun. There is a company here called Telstra. They are the most incompetent phone company EVER and they own most of the phone cable that is laid so you are stuck dealing with them even if you decide not to use them as your server you have to pay them a line usage fee. Any who... a few weeks later we are finally online and have a phone. Our numbers are all the same; just our home address is different. So feel free to call anytime :)

To make a long story short, our house mate Chris bought a house on Geelong Rd. We rented the house next to it. It's so close that we even share the dividing wall... (He can run but he can't hide). The Stevens bought a house on the street behind us. We have been looking for community housing for years, and within the last month everything finally happened. The mansion dreams are lost, but God apparently has a better plan for all of us. We are all so close and have so much room to share. Between us and Chris we went from having 5 people in a 3 bedroom house to 5 people in two three bedroom homes. The Stevens place is big enough to share and to build accommodation in the back. It was crazy and fast how it all happened. We are just settling in to the new house. I love creating a space. It's a funky house, I'll post pics later.

On the Thursday before we moved I brought home a woman in a domestic violence situation... she moved with us and for a week we watched God miraculously get her out of the situation. It felt like a good precident to set for what this home will be used for. We are all excited.

Starting the week after Thanksgiving we’ll be doing another mosaic class with the people from the caravan park… We will have it at the Cave in Ascot Vale. There is a great connection between the Cave and a social services program (COS) over here. It’s too long of a story to tell how everything has come together. But trust me, it’s amazing. I’m helping the folks make small tables to sell that they will get to keep the money for. We are going to have an art exhibit at the Cave with art work from the clients at COS and the mosaics. It’s been amazing to watch how much art can affect someone’s life.

We are having curry night every Sunday before the church service at the Cave. It’s added so much to the community there. There are some really awesome people coming along from the public housing estate up the street.

I finally started painting again a bit on Thursdays at the Cave with Anthony (who runs it) and the people who come by.

I guess there is a whole lot going on, and I get overwhelmed trying to write it all (hats off to all professional writers).

Cricket is starting again soon, so goodbye to John for awhile!

I better stop here or this is going to become un read able :) I'll give you some pics

peace out!

Raquel and her em bare assing moments

2006-10-17T10:28:00.000+10:00

When I'm feeling a bit flat I find it hard to write. So I thought I would just share a few funny tutoring stories with you... I spend most of my days working, either mosaicing or cafe ing, or tutoring... in between I spend time with my church. Most days I miss someone in the states too much and feel sorry for myself for not feeling like I know what I'm doing here... then funny things happen or someone is helped and I feel better for awhile... I really need to pull my head out more often.

My last food faux pa was with the Sudanese family in Ascot Vale... I have another family that I'm tutoring in English; they live in St. Albans, about 30min west of where we live. It's a bit like San Bernardino is to Riverside...

The other day me and the girls where there tutoring... they work with some of the kids (there are seven) and I work with the mom for about two hours. We have learned that when you are finished you are meant to have a cup of coffee or tea, they get very upset if you don't... this is the first time we have been served at this house. We poured the water out of this kettle type thing (both families have them, it took us weeks to work out how to use them) and it smelled so lovely. So we all drank up the beautiful smelling tea, and it tasted great. The next week me and Cheyenne went back again, again we are served after teaching... we asked about the tea (chey) in the kettle, the mom told us that it's not tea, it's water with something in it for fragrance.... imagine how we looked drinking the water going on about how good it tasted... hahahaha

In this family there are seven kids. The youngest ones are 2 1/2 and are twin girls. Then there is a boy who is 4 almost 5. These 3 are always there when we come as they are not in school like the other 4 kids. Let's just say these kids are VERY cheeky and aren't too happy that we are there taking their mother’s attention away from them. The twins usually greet us by taking off their clothes and showing us their butts... they are so cute you can't help but laugh, but the mom hardly thinks it's funny. They are very into being nude as I imagine they have just been potty trained and are feeling a new sense of freedom without a dyper.

Last week I ventured out alone as the girls were busy. This time I took the train and it was a relaxing ride. When I got there the twins proceeded to drop their drawers and shake their bottoms at me... so cute... the older boy was in a particularly funny mood... he was climbing on the couch and making jokes to me. He then proceeded to get down and back up towards me until his bottom was resting on my foot as I was sitting with my legs crossed and my foot was at the prefect height for his butt. He then proceeded to rip a big ol fart on my foot (my foot vibrated).... he thought this was the funniest thing ever until his poor, horrified mom dragged him off to give him a woopen. The kid farted on me! I was in shock and thought it was so funny, but I could tell his mom was horrified. When she finally came back in the room she said “sooo sorry teacher”, I told her it was ok. It's so hard when you lack the language to explain that it's really ok, even though it's not ok to her... I'm an American and am used to being farted on ;)

I love this family. Actually I love both families and thoroughly enjoy helping them. They are beautiful people.

Steve Irwin

2006-09-05T22:11:00.000+10:00

I will be in mourning for some time over this loss...

as some of you already know... I loved the croc hunter. He will be greatly missed.

We have missed him since we have moved to his country (where they aren't nearly as fond of him as us yankees are) he's never on TV here.

When I would get depressed in my loft in Pomona I would watch him and he would cheer me up. Stupid huh? Yeah, I know... our family loved him, and watched him all the time.

We love animals too, and he made us love them even more... stupid sting ray...

It's weird to be in his country when this happened... they like him a lot more now that he is dead.

Australia will not be the same without him

wrestling

2006-09-02T10:14:00.000+10:00

I suppopse if I had to describe my spirituality I would say that I wrestle with God, always have, always will. I like the story of Jacob wrestling with God. I suppose I can relate. I read this scripture this moring...

Ephesians 6:12

12For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

I suppose God's not the only thing we wrestle with. Through my journey I have come to my own understanding (or lack of understanding) about spiritual battles. Sometimes, while I'm here in Melbourne, I wonder about how much power our enemy actually has. Wadding through wet cement, cement that is on the verge of being dry... that is how I would describe the spiritual climate here. It could be just in the western suburbs. I don't know. I do know that Australia's suicide rate is second in the world per capita. Can depression be spiritual? Can the enemy use depression to keep God's people from living out their dreams inspired by Him? In the past I would have probably said "no", but today I'm thinking "yes". (don't worry I'm not talking about myself) Sometimes wresting looks more like getting out of bed and pursuing a dream than rolling around on the floor in a great sweat. But it takes no less effort. The battle is real. Pray for those engaged in it.

13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

19Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.

2006-08-30T08:02:00.000+10:00

good weekend

2006-08-28T19:29:00.000+10:00

The UNOH retreat this weekend was really good. I'm pretty tired, but my spirit feels renewed. I heard a lot of awesome preachers and teachers. I met more cool people, and had some fun conversations. I worked really hard making coffee (which I really enjoyed), and heard some kookaburras in the afternoon. I love nature. The fern trees are amazing.

I tried to juggle, and look forward to learning how.

I also almost froze, but at least where we slept was warm... hurray.

I feel very strongly that I need to keep pursuing my art. Whatever that is. Art and nature are such important parts of my life that feed the deepest parts of my soul.

I need to keep writing, and have a couple of books that I should be starting to work on. I need to shoot anything I see that I love (with a camera) and suck it up and use the digital until a black and white door opens for me.

We bought a car last week... $3,000 plus $628 rego.. I hope it lasts! The merc is back to nick and anita, on it's very last leg. So long cool car... It's a flash back because we had this car before in the states and it was white... That car had the window busted out 4 times... I don't think that will happen here in Melbourne... Pomona, there's nothing like it.

looks like that only dark grey...

It's the corolla version of my mother inlaw, Kath's, old car. It freaks me out when I walk out the door and see it. I expect her to be here.

I had another strange moment last week when me and John had dinner with some friends in the city. It was a small ish resteraunt called the Saraha. When we walked in it really reminded us of our loft. After dinner I went to the "toilet" and everything looked like the loft, even the art work on the walls. When I sat back down I noticed that painted on the wall to my left was a pack man and a ghost!!! what are the odds? It wasn't bright, so I missed it at first. It was washed over ish... crazy..

caught in a vortex... Raquel

don't forget you can click on an image to see it larger :)

2006-08-24T10:23:00.000+10:00

My favorite kind of tree! "Ghost Gum"
No, there's not just pics... keep scrolling to "read all about it"...

red back

2006-08-24T10:22:00.000+10:00

2006-08-24T10:08:00.000+10:00

read all about it!

2006-08-24T09:06:00.000+10:00

Back by popular demand :)

sorry it's been a month since I've written anything. I have been struggling with my "issues". Trying to work on them, so we'll see what happens... I'm OK, so no need to worry, just a bit brainless, and really lethargic.

OK, lot's going on around here, especially in Cheyenne's mouth! She has had oral surgery and had 8 teeth removed including her 4 wisdom. Two weeks later she got her braces on. I'll put a pic on here, but know that she is going to kill me.

Adriahna is never home. She is either with her friends or at work.

They both won "excellence in academic" awards, where poor Cheyenne towered over the other girls in her class. I realized that my girls and Kristy are the only blonds in the school, and Jessy is the only red head. The diversity of their school is awesome. There are girls from all over the world "literally". Adriahna and I had to go to a school meeting about year 12. We sat there and mocked the guest speaker the whole time. He is a uni student with all these helpful hints. Unfortunately we had already heard it all last year as prep for year 11. So we just mocked his hair, which I think had birds nesting in it as he spoke. Adriahna has chosen her classes for next year and is perusing a nursing career. Cheyenne just brought home a math test yesterday where she received a score of 100%. She loves liner equations, and I don't even know what they are :)

John is on new meds and can't sleep, but seems to be more sensitive, and I think they are working!

I have been working... and some more working... next week I will work some more... my hands are cracked and bloodied from grouting massive mosaic panels. There are 23 that will need to be done, and with multiple colors. It is great to contribute to things that will be there for ever...Pretty soon I will be able to take you around the western suburbs and show you so many projects I worked on! Pretty cool, pretty hard on the back and hands. Not to mention my right arm is out of proportion in muscle to my left.

Spring is coming and we have had some amazing days! Missing a month of winter kicks ass!

John, I mean I! am opening a jiu jitsu studio at the cave, which is the church we work with and are in the process of turning into a community center, it’s coming along well. There are already drop in days, movie nights, open mic nights and game nights. In the near future there will be dance classes offered, jiu jitsu classes and an art studio. The girls and I still tutor the Sudanese family who lives in the house there. I'm also trying to learn arabic... not so easy! For example... "where" in English is when or "wen" in Arabic... me and Nadia took half an hour to figure that one out... it was like the who's on first of lost in translation... she doesn't speak English and I don't speak Arabic... it's a lot of fun. That sounded sarcastic, but it's not!

Cricket season is coming... John got his new bat for his birthday and is swinging it all around the house. The pre season training is starting now.

We will spend this weekend at the surrender conference, in the middle of no where. If you're interested you can read about it at www.unoh.org We will be volunteering there, I will be making coffees and John will be doing all kinds of odd jobs... the girls will sell stuff. John and I are on some of the panel discussions. It's such an amazing opportunity for the girls. They get so inspired; I think the last two conferences are why they want to go to Mexico and the Philippines.

Oh and Winston is fine... he's as beautiful as ever. He did get his butt kicked by a girl, but remained submissive the whole time! What a good Ozzy boy. He almost had a girlfriend for a year (while her parents went to China), but she wasn't in to the whole desperate male thing... he is only 14! what did she expect! Bitch :) I should put pic of him on here; I know you all love him more than us... I know I do ;)

If you are a praying kind of person, please pray for wisdom on what to do with my meds. Should I go up in dosage or just eat more fiber? You know what I mean....

Too much Love,
Raquel

pictures will follow, or actually the way this thing works they will precede

pigs in space

2006-07-26T09:15:00.000+10:00

I guess I've been a bit shut down since I got back to OZ. Going back and forth is pretty brutal. Some people can move away and it doesn't bother them much at all. Some people aren't so lucky. I won't complain because I'm told how much harder it is on my friends in the states. Which honestly I wouldn't want to be stuck in the states right now either ;)

So I've been struggling to hold thought processes and to feel very much inspired at all. I've had quick moments of things to write about and then my mind goes blank soon after. It also takes awhile to get used to the spiritual atmosphere here. It's so thick and depressing. Especially in winter.

I have had one thought process float around in my empty mind and have come back a few times... I've been thinking about what love looks like in the 21st century. What does love look like in a consumer driven culture. I think we are pretty aware of what church looks like or should I say Mc Church, but I've been thinking about relationships. I suppose Mc friends? I'll talk more on this soon.

Our two year extention has been approved. I sure hope my mood lifts before then :)

I do love you all... if you're out there somewhere... in spaaace...

hey do you remember "pigs in spaaaaaace..." I loved them

Here's a funny pic I found while looking for that one....

That's awesome!

back in black

2006-07-08T11:19:00.000+10:00

I'm back in black. Back to short, cold, wet winter days. It feels like it did when we first moved here. It's Saturday, and I'm sitting here wondering, what is it that I do again? I should let the jet lag subside before I over analyze my life. The trip was great. Bitter sweet… but mostly sweet… here are some pics…

off the air...

2006-06-10T10:16:00.000+10:00

Well, I'll be leaving for the states tomorrow arvo. I don't imagine that I'll be online too much, so this is good buy for awhile. We will be back on July 7th... and I'm sure I'll be back online soon after that. Here's a pic to remember me by...

shifting

2006-05-29T18:33:00.000+10:00

First I have to tell you about the pictures I put on here... all I do is a yahoo image search on the topic I'm writing about... I like images that's why I do it... I have to share this funny one with you... I typed in "life" and this is the first picture that showed up... actually this result was from google image search

#1 #2

so that's life hu?

I guess what I experience almost everyday isn't a true paradigm shift, but more a change of perspective... I probably have a paradigm shift once a month... ha ha

I recently spent a few days visiting someone in a rehab hospital. This particular hospital deals solely with amputees. Everyone in this hospital is missing either one leg or arm, or all limbs, or two legs and one arm... you get the point.

What was interesting is how these people got like that. Some people are just born without a limb, some had lost limbs to diabetes, some to poor circulation due to smoking (very scary), and some who have been in accidents lots as pedestrians. It changes the way you look at things when you are surrounded by people missing appendages. Now when I drive down the street and some jackass walks out in front of me or another car in the city I see someone with missing legs and without the ability to have children.

There was one man in hospital who was hit by a train. He was drunk and stumbled onto the tracks. In hospital he died on the table and God spoke to him. He told him that it wasn't time for him to go yet. He's alive now, and only has one arm left. He is probably in his early 40's.
There must be something about life that we or at least I am missing when on our death bed we choose life no matter what the circumstances. How many people do you know who have truly faced death and wanted to die? It seems that there is a reality that is revealed when facing death that shows us what a seriously special gift life is. Maybe one of the greatest deceptions the devil ever pulled off is down playing how sacred life is?

it looked good in the 80's??

2006-05-27T09:45:00.000+10:00

Our ideas of what is beautiful change throughout our lives. I imagine that when I was a baby anything that looked like a giant mommy boob and warm safe arms were the most beautiful things in the world. For some men, this never changed. My lust for the sexy rebellious boy faded when he was living with his parents, drinking the same beer in the garage, re-living the glory days with his friends, 10 years later. When I was pregnant I thought pregnant women were the epitome of beauty. Now they kind of scare me cause they are everywhere here... I feel like I'm living in a breeding colony. Now I see skin cancer where I used to see a beautiful tan. I once thought that John was the most beautiful man ever... ha ha... I won't go there... you get the point.

I imagine as we mature it is natural for us to grow and change and our ideas of what is beautiful will too. We, in theory, become less superficial the older we get.

I suppose this is similar to the way our taste in music, food, clothing, furniture… changes over the years.

But is it normal to have a paradigm shift practically every day? Sometimes multiple times in one day? Is it ok for the way you see things/the world around you to change so often?

My friend asked me a couple of days ago if I get sick of the issues that life has presented me with. We were talking about our upcoming trip to the states and how I needed to work out my meds so I don’t run out when I’m there. I told her that it wasn’t bothering me right now. I had to ask myself when that changed. I remember not to long ago being very put-up with dealing with the same shit for so many years…

living on the San Andres fault of paradigm shifts... coming soon to a blog near you...

sorry

2006-05-23T12:40:00.000+10:00

I feel sick thinking that I hurt you in some way or have been so misunderstood.. but I guess that's the risk of the typed word. I'm so sorry. Just to clarify, I was not trying to imply that you were/are a thumbsucker... didn't know that was something you would call people... thumbsucker is a movie that just came out... I sucked my thumb untill I was 11... so I'm the thumbsucker... not sure what that means to you. I was just saying that we are all pretty fu@#ed up... but have to hold the tention that it also could be worse. There are people who suffer more than we have or do. I think keeping this tention is an important part of healing. The picture I used is a picture of me.

perspective...

2006-05-22T11:55:00.000+10:00

Read the next one before you read this one... they are in order... kinda

just to add a bit of perspective urbanmonk... if you were sitting in a cafe having a cuppa with the elephant man, you would struggle to say that you could truly identify with him.... and in reality you truly could not.

John says my last title was bad... does that help explain it?

we are all elephant men... but not to elephant men

2006-05-21T22:34:00.000+10:00

you bring me to the next good point... or I should say you have made the next point... not that I had already worked out what would be the next good point... Or saw into the future and knew what you would say... or.... or...

"Isn’t it strange that a man with no outward deformities identifies so strongly with the elephant man?"

Yes and no...
That is my answer for everything now a' days…

Once I began talking openly about my "issues"... I quickly realized that I wasn't the only one who felt the way I did... as the years have gone by and I've become more and more honest and transparent, I realize that most people feel the same way (when they are being honest) and if they say they don't, they just haven't come to realize that part of themselves yet... the nice thing about not having that pretense is I think we get to the end of ourselves faster... and waist less time chasing other things, believing they will “fix” us...

it's good to let the little “gods” die... if you let Him, one by one God will pick them off... it's a bit of a painful process (see exodus), especially if you really believed that “god” would save you... but in the end you're left with the one true God... and get the chance to get to know Him. And one of the really cool things about Him is that He doesn’t “fix” you… He takes you as you are and lives with and through you. You see, in His eye’s there’s actually nothing “wrong” with you.

I watched the movie “thumbsucker” last night. I sucked my thumb until I was 11 so was very curious to see this movie. Towards the end of the movie a character says that there is actually nothing “wrong” with sucking your thumb… he tells the main character that there was nothing “wrong” with him… I find this very profound…

reply

2006-05-20T09:09:00.000+10:00

I agree urbanmonk... there is a book that I read... did I mention it? Called Adam?

I think you can look at human beings as animals, and in that sense look at the breeding aspect and healthy gene attraction aspect... but I suppose that has always been God's challenge to us, to be more that just our fleshy bodies more than animals.

I can say that lots of people are quite happy to just be animals. That is untill they are taken out of the "game" either by age or accident... I have never felt a part of that "game", so I suppose I've thought about these things for most my life, and it sounds like you have too... not sure why you don't feel part of the "game", you're a good looking snag!

I think true beauty for me has to strike a very deep cord. There's something more there than asthetics. I suppose the reflection of God has to be there for me to be really impressed... and the asthetics don't even matter then... it's hard living in the world, and not being part of it... it's easier when you know there are other people out there who are doing the same thing... and have a very different mesuring stick...

sorry if I'm being too vague this morning... it's early

beauty...

2006-05-18T21:02:00.000+10:00

I definitely think that God made us this way... I suppose mostly for the purpose of us being attracted to each other and thus pro-creating and such. I think God also gives us pleasurable things for pleasure sake.

The value of "beauty" in our culture concerns me. I think we are sold a crock of crap as to what is beautiful. "Sold" being the key word. There is lots of $$ being made convincing people that with this product they can be "beautiful"

I was also thinking how this ties into midlife crises. For women once they hit their 40's (in theory) they have no hope of obtaining this beauty that the world holds so highly... it's the "beauty" that comes with youthful looks.

If I haven't been beautiful yet, at this age (35) I will never be (in the world’s standards)... And women who get plastic surgery to look younger are seriously delusional and wind up looking like Michael Jackson.

Mid-life men and women run out and try to act young... to prove that they are still valuable. That they still got it! Got what? Have we always been this way? There’s a scripture in proverbs that I’ve always liked…

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

That’s the problem with this kind of beauty… it doesn’t last… it fades… It’s great for getting us together, but crap for living life by.

It can be such a great distraction to what really matters.

My dentist told me the other day that he has seen women loose whatever it was that was special about them after they have had their teeth and jaw fixed.

culture values

2006-05-15T21:54:00.000+10:00

On Sunday we were talking about some of the culture of the Old Testament. Specifically the roll of the women. More specifically being mothers. If you couldn't bare children you were pretty much worthless. This is still true in some cultures (maybe even ours). I got to thinking about the culture of our day and beauty.

How important is beauty in our culture? Is your life worth less if you have no possibility of being "beautiful"? Who says what is beautiful? And why are we content to believe them?

Julie had a great insight. She said that we look at beauty as something on the outside instead of seeing that the beauty is God on the inside.

There is a book by Henri Nouwen. I would recommend it to everyone. It's called Adam. It really change the way I look at disability.

And can I just say everything I'm reading right now in the bible is about the upside down kingdom... here's an excerpt. This passage gives me great hope, because I have no hope in myself...

1Cr 1:22	For indeed Jews ask for signs and Greeks search for wisdom;
1Cr 1:23	but we preach Christ crucified, to Jews a stumbling block and to Gentiles foolishness,
1Cr 1:24	but to those who are the called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God.
1Cr 1:25	Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.
1Cr 1:26	For consider your calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble;
1Cr 1:27	but God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are strong,
1Cr 1:28	and the base things of the world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that He may nullify the things that are,
1Cr 1:29	so that no man may boast before God.

Mother's day...

2006-05-12T22:49:00.000+10:00

Mother's day is a tricky one for me... I guess growing up mother’s day was semi straight forward. I had a mom. I also knew I was adopted, but I didn't think about that more on mother's day because I only had one mom. The women who changed my diapers and cleaned my throw up, took me to school, made me get dressed and take a bath, fed me, and loved me... Right before I turned 12 my mom died. That has a way of changing everything as me and my sister are still discovering. After that, mother's day became a very sad day. I had no mother. Not like "normal" girls. A year and a half or so after my mom died my dad remarried. Now I have a step mother... Then I met John, and his mom... after marriage I have a mother in law. When I was 30 I found my biological mother... but that's a whole "nuther" story...

pay attention or you will get lost...

1 mother
1 step mother
1 mother in law
1 biological mother
1 grandmother

and now I am a mother... well, have been for the last 17 years.

hmmmm "mother's" day.....

Who should I send a card to?

Poor Winston

2006-05-12T12:58:00.000+10:00

Poor Winston... he's had a lump removed from his neck. It was a damaged saliva gland. He's fine now. I wonder how he got a damaged anything, he is so docile and gentle... even now he is laying around so peacefully... ha ha ha

It's been a strange week on myspace.com. I had no idea how many people are on there. It's been a week walking down memory lane. The first day I signed up I was overwhelmed with how blessed I am to have so many awesome friends and family. I've had such an amazing life. By the next day I was feeling a bit flat and overwhelmed with it all. Leaving the states almost killed me. I hope going back for a holiday dosn't make me crazier than I already am. ahhh so much love. So many beautiful people all around the world. x o x o

2006-05-12T12:42:00.000+10:00

2006-05-12T12:38:00.000+10:00

sum up

2006-05-06T19:59:00.000+10:00

I'll try to sum up some of my thoughts on prayer... TRY, and my thoughts change all the time so don't quote me... not that there's anyone out there...

why I pray;

to talk to God

for God to talk to me

to share my life with Him, my hopes my dreams my worries

to exchange my thoughts for His

the bibles says to

so I know what to do tomorrow

so I know what to do about hard things

for comfort when I am sad

To express myself (praise or cursing)

why I don't pray;

to get what I want (although I hope I do)

to manipulate God

to live a pain free life

to earn anything

Thoughts on the week;

I guess I've come to see my prayer as a purely relational thing.

I've also come to see that God can be glorified in anything. I'm also thinking that He can often be glorified even more in our pain.

I've watched a friend of mine, over the last couple of weeks, post op, and not think about her own pain, but minister to the needs of others, thus showing Jesus to them while they were suffering. A Jesus they don't even know, but now have had an encounter with.

I can see how she and our community would have been encouraged if she was healed PRE op.

I can also see that her going through the surgery many more people have been blessed. Most importantly people who don't already know Him.

I'm not saying there is no place for healing.... don't get me wrong, I'm just saying what I saw these last 2 weeks.

I was also thinking about how there is such a shortage of mini jesus' around. This could be one of the reasons we see less of those types of healings these days... God needs us in hospital to be with the suffering. He really needs us in this world, and since we don't out number yet... to hospital we go?

thoughts on the second group

2006-04-20T20:21:00.000+10:00

This is my other thoughts on the second group (let's just say a redeemed second group), see if you can catch my drift;

Today I was thinking that we are one dimensional people. That we are the sum of our experiences. You won't know what it feels like to have your whole family killed before your eyes, unless it happens to you.

God is not us... (Surprise) God is not one dimensional.... He is multi dimensional... He is all knowing. So He knows what these things feel like, and has the heart that goes with it.

If God spared us from all the pain and suffering this world has to offer we would be pretty flat people not unlike the animation on South Park. Then what would happen? Men would still run their wars, and horrible things would still happen, but the "Christians” would be worthless for helping because they would lack the compassion, empathy and heart that comes out of suffering. The heart that is ready to carry the heart of God to His people.

And I'll reiterate something from an old post about choice... if becoming a Christian meant that you would never suffer again... would choosing God really be a choice?

And yes, I'm still over simplifying for the journey of this conversation...

Romans 5; 2-4
Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

weak vs. strong

2006-04-20T19:44:00.000+10:00

So what I was thinking I should clarify or define is weak vs. strong.... for this topic I would have to say that it's merely a self perception. Compared to Jesus there's no comparison, we are all weak and not too smart.

Who better to hold the heart and power of God?

2006-04-20T13:48:00.000+10:00

Who better to hold the heart and power of God?

Option #1: the competent, intelligent, already powerful, the gifted, the strong, the well educated, the rich?

I can see one major problem with this group of people... they are probably already spreading a kingdom, and I imagine that kingdom is theirs.

The second problem I could see God being faced with this group is that they are the ones more prone to being corrupted by power.

Option #2: the week, stupid, non educated, poor, broken, tired, hurt?

The bonus with this group is they have no kingdom, and most would say they can't accomplish anything.

The second bonus that God probably saw with this group is they know what it's like to be a slave so are less likely to use their power to enslave.

I have a third thought on this group but will share that later....

I'm just trying to paint a picture here, so bear with me. I know that there aren't only two kinds of people in the world and they don't fall into one of those groups, and I know that no one is immune to power....

Why did God invent prayer? prt 2

2006-04-20T13:27:00.000+10:00

My brain is flowing with thoughts this morning so please bear with me if I jump around (literally). I realize that saying the point of prayer is to talk to God isn't a revolutionary thought. I suppose this has been the consensus for most of time. I guess the reason I felt the need to say that is because we don't always see the value in talking to God. Why would God want us to talk to Him? Because He loves us? Now here's the way I think this beautiful relationship often looks, and I can confess mine was no different for many years. We pray when we want something. We pray when we are afraid. We pray when we don't understand things. We pray for knowledge because we love that and assume that God has the most. We pray for justice, God is no doubt on our side. I don't think praying for any of these things is wrong. But I think it’s only half the picture. As a mother I can say how much it would sadden me if the girls only talked to me during those times, and didn't share their lives with me the rest of the time. I would very quickly feel used, and can admit to feeling that a few times over the years in ministry. This again is another aspect of the subject.

But I will return to my overriding thoughts on this right now... it's about the relationship with us and our loving creator, and the upside down kingdom... again I ask the ? Why... why give the power to the weak....

Who better to hold the heart of God than the downcast, the broken, and the helpless? Who better to trust with the power of the Holy Spirit than them?

Why did God invent prayer?

2006-04-18T21:36:00.000+10:00

I can't think of a prayer story off the top of my head tonight. All I can think of is why I started this topic. Yesterday we went and saw the movie V for vendetta. Seeing that reminded me to get to the point of why I started this topic;

Why did God invent prayer?

In my opinion God invented prayer to talk. So that we would talk to Him and so that He could talk to us. I think that is the point of all the disciplines... communion with God. Why is communion with God so important? Why would it be the most important thing in life? Is it the most important thing in life?

Considering that Jesus left us here with His spirit to be His body, I consider being in communion with Him of the utmost importance. One of the things that I really love about Jesus is that He gave us the same spirit that He had to enable us to do the things He did... and the people who already feel able are the ones who are the least able. Make since? No, it shouldn't. God's kingdom is upside down. The problem is that we as Christians still give power to the able people. Even the ways our churches are structured say that there are a few important/able people who hear from God, and we are the rest... The truth is that we all hear from God. That we all have a personal responsibility to each other.

I'll go into this more soon... too tired to get into it more now... but wanted to start in the direction...

Here's some words from a Ben Harper song that I find appropriate;

It will make a weak man mighty.
It will make a mighty man fall.
It will fill your heart and hands or leave you with nothing at all.
It's the eyes for the blind and legs for the lame.
It is the love for hate and pride for shame.

That's the power of the gospel.
That's the power of the gospel.
That's the power of the mighty, mighty power.
That's the power of the gospel, well.
That's the power of...

Gospel on the water,
Gospel on the land.
The gospel in every woman,
And the gospel in every man.
Gospel in the garden,
Gospel in the trees.
The gospel that's inside of you,
Gospel inside of me.

That's the power of the gospel.
That's the power of the gospel.
That's the power of the mighty power.
That's the power of...
That's the power of the gospel.

In the hour of richness,
In the hour of need.
For all of creation comes from the gospel seed.
And you may leave tomorrow and you may leave today,
But you've got to have, got to have the gospel when you start out on your way.

the mansion, prayer story #4

2006-04-13T08:51:00.000+10:00

Our community has been praying over the last couple of years for a dream of good friends of ours to come true. In short their dream involves buying a mansion with a partner to provide affordable housing and community living. Over the last few months the dream has gotten really close to being realized, but there's a wrench in the spokes.... the home owner. Now we all realize that he is indeed not a wrench, but that God could be using this relationship to show him Jesus. The fact of the matter is that he is a man, and he does have free will. His free will is no greater or lesser than mine or yours. I've never known God to step in and take that away. Yes, He can change someone’s heart, and maybe persuade. Not to say that He couldn't over through free will, but it's my understanding that He values that more. I guess most people don't want to hear that their choice had a profound affect on more people than just themselves, but it does. Our choices are what this life is all about. God wants us to choose Jesus as our first love, but He will not force us into that relationship. There is a good book on that subject that my mentor in the states gave to me when I left for here, it's called The Sacred Romance by Brent Curtis. It took me awhile to get through as I've got a bit of an aversion to christianise, but once I got over that I found it so powerful.

I've got to run off to work so let me sum up...

The mansion has fallen through (for now). I don't blame God and wonder what the hell He's doing because the way I look at it there is a man involved who has free will and has made some choices that don't really have much to do with God at all. God has many a plan, and will show us a new one in time if it's time to go to plan B. He will guide us (as long as we will listen) and love us through all the grieving over a dream that would seem to be lost. And then at the last hour will reveal a plan bigger than we could have ever dreamed or hoped for...

Prayer story #3

2006-04-09T22:57:00.000+10:00

When I was a kid I thought we prayed to get God to do what we want. I also thought that God wouldn't do what we wanted Him to do unless we begged Him in the right way. There was a pastor I heard once say that if we didn't say "amen" at the end of the prayer God wouldn't do it cause you didn't say "so be it"... he also taught a sermon on being specific in prayer... kind of like God's hands would be tied if you didn't specify what color car you want.

I used to be plague by nightmares as a kid and begged God to take them away, and He didn't. This was not something I understood as a kid. I knew He had the power to take them away, but He didn't.

When I was 11 my mom got sick with cancer. This was an interesting time in the church. A lot of people were into the "name it and claim it" stuff. Many people layed hands on my mom, and we all begged God for her healing. ... a year later she died.

Needless to say, prayer wasn't what I thought it once was. My santa god was dead.

One more thing;
I guess you've learned that I find it easier to figure out what things aren't than what the are. And after you figure out what something isn't, you see what it is.

Why did God invent prayer?

2006-04-08T23:46:00.000+10:00

Why did God invent prayer? Talk amongst yourselves.... (assuming He did invent prayer)

Prayer story #2

2006-04-08T09:28:00.000+10:00

First I'll share with you some personal lessons/revelations on prayer. I've already told you one, this is the next one that comes to mind when I think about prayer;

I was abruptly woken up one night by John writhing in pain. He was having another one of his kidney stones, but this one was really bad and we knew he had to go to the hospital. We threw some clothes on and called someone to look after the girls, and ran off to the hospital at 3am. John was admitted into the emergency area. They proceeded to pump him up with drugs that weren't working. He lay in bed in horrible pain, and I sat in a chair besides his bed waiting for yet another stone to pass. On the other side of the curtain where I was sitting was an older couple (older than us, but probably early 50's). Only divided by a curtain I could hear everything that was going on. It would appear that something was very wrong with his heart. He was in a lot of pain, and his wife was trying to get the Dr's to give her some answers. It seemed that they weren't sure what was going on, but it wasn't good whatever it was. During this time probably after two hours John's face changed and I could tell the stone had passed. He was really drowsy from all the drugs, but was no longer in pain. We sat there another hour or so and the people next to us were there the whole time. Me and John were both praying for them without knowing the other was praying silently. The man was in so much pain and he started to loose feeling in his left side. The wife was crying and talking to any nurse who walked by. They took him off for some test and brought him back. Still no answers. While I was praying for this man's pain to go away I realized that if his pain went away they would send him home, and he would probably drop dead within the day. Often we pray for symptoms to go away. When the truth is that if we didn't have the symptoms we would never know something was wrong and wouldn't have the chance to fix it. This applies to all parts of our being... physical, mental, spiritual... We can pray for comfort and strength, and wisdom for Dr's, but I realized that God wasn't going to take this pain away. The pain had a real purpose... which was to save this man's life... His body was trying to tell him something. I will never know what happened to that man. We did wind up talking to him and his wife and they were also Christians. We told them that we had been praying for them, and they were comforted. We were released after 5 hours. I continued to pray for that man for the next couple of weeks... I will never know what happened to him.

OK, what really pisses me off on "Survivor"

2006-04-02T08:15:00.000+10:00

Survivor is a "reality" TV show. If you didn't know that, now you do. You can look it up online if you want to get the gist of it. There has been a bit of a recurring thing on that show that really pisses me off... now this might come as a shock to some of you, but it's the way that people pray on there. Yes, I am a Christian and I do pray. Last week, which was the first week here,(please no spoilers we are way behind over here) the older women's tribe was praying for their team to win, for their team member to come around the corner first... then, after they won, they all got in a group together and prayed again.

Is God concernedwith the older women on Survivor winning? What if the younger women start praying to win? Who side will he be on? How does he choose who's side to be on? Did God answer the older womens prayer and make the old lady beat the young bird?

My thoughts on why we pray and how I pray have changed a lot over the years. I'll write some more on this soon. I'll go over a few experiences that have changed my mind. This phenom. above is one of them. I've seen it in a lot of movies too. Where two sides of a war are praying to win. "Kingdom of Heaven" is a good movie for seeing that. The first time I prayed for one of my friends to win his cage fight I had a deep since that God isn't involved in deciding the outcomes of these things, other wise I'de go to the races and bet on a horse and pray pray pray and then be rich rich rich...

Survivors from Dachau praying in the camp infirmary after liberation (April 29 - May 1945)

will work for food

2006-03-27T22:59:00.000+11:00

I do work for food! My one shift a week at the cafe I spend paying off my family/friend tab... pretty cool. It's too late to call the states so I thought I would say hi this way... "HI" We are well on our way saving for our trip to the states. I"m so looking forward to seeing everyone.

I've been super busy. I've been building the mosaic table. Which is coming along nicely. I've been doing a little work at the cafe. I've been tutoring the Sudanese family, and trying to learn a bit of Arabic myself... it's really hard. I've been helping out a bit at the new project at the Ascot Vale church of christ. Our new church community is going great. We have dinner once a week and church once a week and prayer another night of the week... I'm really enjoying praying with people again. We've had a few dramas in the community and have been trying to be supportive of each other. I drove an hour and 1/2 yesterday after church to "Ballaratt" to meet with my intern where she lives (I also have an intern, she rocks!). Interesting place... gold rush town... not unlike one in Cali... but with different bird noises and trees. I was by myself and kept thinking how bad it would be to break down on the way there. Spent 4 hours there, then two hours back to Ascot Vale to pic up John after the night service which is now every Sunday night there, then to eat and to take a friend home, then home myself... a day in the life of...

The girls have been busy with friends, work and school, they are doing really well. They won't stop growing though... you're going to freak when you see them. I better get a current pic up so you won't be too shocked. Cheyenne is now taller than me. Oh yeah, my hair is growing like mad... I just MIGHT grow it out for awhile... I feel like farrah fawcett... OK, it's not that long... but it feathers so naturaly! OK, I'm not that fit either, but you get the point...

Here's a picture of our beautiful community :)

thoughts

2006-03-23T19:26:00.000+11:00

I think of things to write, and then my mind goes blank when I sit to write.... does that ever happen to you?

I haven't lost any weight,

I had a thought the other day that there all kinds of Christians, I would rather be more like Mother Teresa than George Bush.

Oh yeah! We filled our papers on Monday!!! Now is the waiting game... 4 to 6 weeks.

We have taken the job at Ascot Vale and are now up to full support for the first time that I can ever remember. Ascot Vale is in the next suburb over. It's where the Sudanese family lives. Oh, and good news, I got a phrase book that says how to say that I'm a vegitarian in Arabic!! We will be helping out a church there. Starting a drop in center and a youth centred church service and such...

furniture

2006-03-11T13:10:00.000+11:00

I've decided to give up my day job and start working as a model home model... look out Vanna White... I look good on furniture... "damn I look good... hey everyone come see how good I look!"

some pics and a fear coming true

2006-03-08T19:40:00.000+11:00

Hmmm... some good trip.... I made her work with me! bwaaa ha ha

This is a native animal in the OZ bush... can you recognise it?

no, it's not a Kola... it's not an emu... it's not a kangaroo... it's Staci in a tree at the Botanical Gardens, don't be stupid

So today it finally happened... I almost ate meat for the first time in ?? years... note the word almost. My worst fear came true. Cheyenne and I were at the house where we tutor a Sudanese family in English. We were done practicing for the day and were about to leave when the mom told me to sit down... I could tell that she was making us food. I'm sure a gesture of thanks for helping out. She speaks no English and I spend my time there helping her and Cheyenne helps the kids (there are 8 kids). Anyway a few minutes later she has one of the kids invite Cheyenne in and we sit at the table and she puts this beautiful food in front of us. I asked her if there was meat in it... by just saying meat (that is a word she knows) and she said yes.... There was a beautiful meat sauce and rice. I asked her son who speaks pretty good English to tell her I'm a vegetarian... there is no word for that in their language. I felt like such a jerk, but the thought of eating meat was making me queasy. So I served up some to Cheyenne and just took the rice for myself... thank God that there was rice so I could eat something... I'm such a western jerk! I know the food was beautiful because Cheyenne told me :)

sorry so long....

2006-03-06T21:47:00.000+11:00

Sorry it's been so long since I wrote. Staci was here for 10 days and we packed as much as we could into thoes 10 days possible. It was such a great time, and the warm southern california weather came with her and has now left with her... here's the sky today. I'll write more all about the trip soon
Love,
Raquel

My next week...

2006-02-17T09:31:00.000+11:00

Staci Ballou is coming to visit us (I like to think me!) in one week!! I'm so excited. I haven't seen her in two years... I'll try to dig up a pic of us. Not sure if I have any digital ones. She is going to be here for 10 days. See, if she can do it, any of you can! Come on down! This week I start tutoring the Sudanese family in English. I'm excited about that. I'll be back at the cafe one day a week, and mosaicing a lot with the new table being made. This weekend is the first FORGE intensive of the year. Me and Sally will be doing one of the sessions. I'll let you know how it went. It will involve rocks and sand. I have a bit of a reputation for making the interns do weird things :) My life is funny here, it's all or nothing. I'm either running around doing lots of stuff, or sitting at home doing nothing but laundry, dishes and watching endless videos. Oh yeah, and cuddling with Winston. He's my man!

Wilson's Promontory

2006-02-17T09:10:00.000+11:00

Last weekend we went to Wilson's Prom again! The girls took off Friday and Monday for a long weekend down there. I didn't take many pictures because I'm lazy, and I thought they would look like last years... what a slacker! It was beautifull down there as always. If you want to see more pics look on picturetrail.com member name "reverend" the girls baptism. I can't believe it's been a year since their baptism. Time goes so fast here. It must be beacause of the southern hemisphere ;) I missed Gabe a lot being down there. He was there with us last year. The weather was all over the place, and we have one beautifull warm day. It was perfect. We played tennis on the beach and chess back at camp. The Kookburras are the most amazing sounding birds EVER! They talk to each other when the sun goes down and before it comes up everyday... you have to hear the sound if you never have. There was a possum in the bathrooms for a couple of days... she kept all the kids busy. Here's a pic...

crazy sunset

2006-02-08T18:29:00.000+11:00

We get a lot of pink sunsets here... this one was praticularly red and bright... The sky is a different colors here... much more red in the sky making a nice lavender hew... I think it's the reflection of the big red desert in the middle of this crazy country... who knows? (if you do know, don't tell me)

2006-02-08T17:31:00.000+11:00

One more time...

2006-02-08T17:23:00.000+11:00

Guess what I'm making again??? This table was so great that we are making another one by commission... cool huh? Lot's of work... but that's mosaic!

John look a like

2006-01-28T20:36:00.000+11:00

We keep getting told that John looks like this guy... his name is Barry Hall and he is a footy player... at dinner the other night a guy had his picture taken with John so he could say he had his picture taken with Barry Hall... pretty funny stuff!

somethings that appear beautifull from far away aren't up close...

2006-01-20T10:52:00.000+11:00

Here is the beach that I sat on all by myself and pondered... if a tree fell in a forest and no one was there to blog about it... did it really happen???

Here was another gross thing in the beautifull scenery... mmm toxic waist

Angelsea

2006-01-20T10:34:00.000+11:00

I can't ever remember going away alone. I decided to go to Angelsea for three days by myself. There were people sleeping where I would be sleeping, but that's it. I would be on my own for three days. What a strange sensation to eat whatever I wanted to eat, to go wherever I wanted to go, to do whatever I felt like doing at any given moment. Without having to consult anyone. I suppose most people know what that feels like, but for me my life has been quiet the opposite. Everything I do revolves around other people. I never noticed how much so until this trip... interesting...

here's some pics I took as there was a bit of a theme of gross things... first the poop tree t he nat cave that I didn't realize was nats until I stood up in them and they swarmed my head...

ooops

2006-01-16T16:16:00.000+11:00

ooops, I got so used to talking to people on the phone and email lately that I forgot about poor little blogger... I got contact lenses, and saw a fruit bat or flying fox as they are also known, up our street. Adriahna went to camp and had a great time. Cheyenne is at camp right now. She had a rough start, but is having a blast
now.

Being a mother of two teenage daughters is surreal! I didn't have a mother when I was a teenager, and rebelled against anyone who would try to exercise that roll in any way. Somehow God has given me the tools and continues to give me the tools to try to help out my girls as they transition into womanhood... not an easy task for any of us. I do believe that God used my time as a youth pastor to prepare me for this. During that time in my life I both grew up and learned how to help other girls grow up too. I wasn't perfect as any of the girls in our youth group could tell you, but I was there. Even when I had no answers, and no way to fix it. We can get through anything, as long as we aren't alone. That's just my opinion. Cheyenne asked me how I got through that stage in my life alone (crappy teenage years). I told her I barely got through, and at that time started doing drugs. But God was always there, and brought me though. The faith that I have now is deep rooted in many experiences of hard times... and out of that comes a faith that I wouldn't give up for anything. It's way beyond the Santa faith that we all have in the beginning. Santa dies as soon as things repeatedly don't work the way we thought they would. In place of Kris Cringle we get a ugly, bloody, Jewish man.

I mean, if Santa Clause was God could you even call it free will?

the mansion

2006-01-06T21:50:00.000+11:00

go to

http://www.hockingstuart.com.au/

click on Melbourne on the map

scroll on the first list to Footscray

on the bed room list click on 5 bedrooms and search

to see the pics of our home if we get our extention... also the home of many other people...

over a week

2006-01-06T21:23:00.000+11:00

Sorry it's been over a week. Not that you're counting. Not that I'm counting.

My trip to Brisbane has been postponed until March. Boo hoo. I was so looking forward to no house work for two weeks! But I wasn't looking forward to 44+ hours of driving... o well we have March to look forward to.

I'm glad the holidays are over, then I don't feel guilty for the days I feel like blah.

Next week I will be at the FORGE retreat, and then Angelsea the following week. I have to go somewhere and free is the best. The girls are going to camp again. Adriahna leaves tomorrow morning then CJ goes a week later. They are very excited.

Lot's of things are in the works, we'll see what happens. It would seem that we will all be moving into a mansion the end of March? Possibly... I'll let you know more about that later. Our church is "multiplying" right now. My jobs are always in flux and I’m right now working on our visa extension. The future is always so uncertain.

Adriahna is in the bottom left hand corner of that pic doing archery... sweet!

a pattern

2005-12-29T19:17:00.000+11:00

OK, I'm noticing a pattern here... It would seem that I have time about once a week and it seems to be on Thursdays to add a post, so if you’re interested maybe that's when to check back.

Christmas has come and gone and New Years is upon us. Weird. This year went really fast, and because of the difference in season (long hot days) it doesn't "feel" like this time of year.

So here's my list for you Lisa of what I want to try to do this next year, and I'll let you know at the end of that what is my favorite jelly belly that I got for Christmas! (We got them from the US lolly shop in the next town over... so wonderful!)

1. Do a community mosaic (mural like) at the caravan park at the beginning of the year (spend as much time there as I can)

2. Teach Sudanese kids English (tutor at the commission housing flats)

3. At least 3 times a week swims, Pilates? Some sort of exercise for better overall health

4. Art at least once a week… either paint, B & W photography, mosaic, or draw (preferably outside). Possibly start a photography club at the girl’s school.

5. Read my bible everyday with at least 15 min of quiet time (realistically)

(if I think of more I'll add them later)

OK, after much deliberation... GREEN APPLE is the winner!

last days

2005-12-23T20:46:00.000+11:00

Yesterday was my last day at the cafe for 4 weeks and my last night at half moon. It was a strange day. It started with a very "interesting" guy coming into the cafe. He was yelling and screaming about who knows what... something about becoming president He kept making loud screeching noises. But somehow he got it together to order his coffee (as you do). He's harmless, so he didn't get kicked out. Eventually he left to catch the bus and left a strange assortment of things on his table... but did manage to drink his coffee in between screams. We all giggled and life went on. Then a man in a florescent pink and yellow cowboy hat started a conversation with me. He was also special, and called me a "yankee". He ordered one pineapple ring and sat outside and ate it and then moved on. Not an hour later some people helped a man in a wheel chair through our door. Then I noticed that he was missing both his legs. Cut off above the knee. He was left at a table I guess the people who helped him weren’t with him. I noticed him sitting alone and thought that I would have to serve him or he wouldn't eat. We don't usually serve people, you order and pay at the counter. So I looked after him for awhile and there was a bit of a debacle getting him out of the door again... to make many long stories shorter, I was really affected over the thought of having no legs. I went home and then went on to the caravan park. There we talked about the little boy who has been coming to the mosaic classes and who had missed the last class. It would seem that his dad just got arrested for theft. The mom took the boy and left. They might not be back to the park. It would also seem that his mom and dad sell his meds so they can buy their drugs... there's a few more, but I'll stop there. The day ended with great generosity by a couple of friends giving us a huge Christmas gift. Being at the caravan park was the highlight of my year. Hopefully next year we will start a new project there. I love being there and I love the people there. They are God's chosen ones... pray for them...

Absence makes the heart grow achy...

2005-12-13T17:12:00.000+11:00

Over the last two weeks I have been particularly home sick. I've talked to Kathy (John's mom), Lisa, my sister, and Gabe has come for a brief visit. This leads me to ask the question, do I feel better after having so much contact from the states, or is it making me even more home sick?

It was so good to see Gabe again... so good to see him so happy... the saying good buy again part, not so good...

whatareyagonnado?

People who have time to keep a blog up...

2005-12-13T17:08:00.000+11:00

Work at a computer all day and steal time from the company they work for, work from their computer at home and need something (refer to bottom post), have more time on their hands than I do, don't work at all, or don't work very much at all ... yes, I'm just jealous!

busy, busy, busy

2005-12-09T17:51:00.000+11:00

It's already been a week. It's hard to believe. Last night was half moon again, so I guess I have to believe it! Half moon was really good again. I fully enjoy being there. When I first thought about doing it, I thought I could do it on my own if I had to. Last night I was thinking how stupid I was to think that. I'm totally blessed by the people that have come along with me. Every person who comes from the caravan park needs individual attention and instruction. I could never do it alone. Just the cleaning up would take me an hour if I was by myself! So thanks to everyone who is helping out who reads this... which is probably none of them.

Over the last two weeks I have taught three mosaic classes, worked two jobs, taught at the last FORGE intensive, went to a party, and all the other things of life. I survived, and life has now returned to "normal". I can't even think about Christmas. It doesn't feel like Christmas, and shopping sucks. At the FORGE intensive I made people put sticky labels on their hairy arms and then pull them off. It was a lot of fun! The big question was "who are you?"...

On time

2005-12-01T19:58:00.000+11:00

So tonight went a bit better because I didn't cut it an hour short! We have some pics, I might post some of the work, but not the people (for privacy) later. Peace out...

Half Moon

2005-12-01T14:42:00.000+11:00

First day at Half Moon Caravan Park... and of course I screwed something up! It went very well... although I thought it was 6:15 when it was only 5:15. I kicked everyone out an hour early! Besides that, it was great, and I'm about to go back for the second class this afternoon. It's great to be out among the peeps again! Keep us in your prayers!

Why does the car break down just when you have started to save up some money?

2005-11-25T21:21:00.000+11:00

Why does the car break down just when you have started to save up some money? Does saving up money mean that your car will break down? And in that case should I not try to save up money and that way I won't get any new and unusual bills?

Today John left for Perth again.

Last night we had Thanksgiving dinner in our backyard.

Next Wednesday I start a mosaic class at a caravan park in Brooklyn. It's called Half Moon Caravan Park. People are placed there when they have no where else to go. Most are addicted or have mental illnesses. Teaching them mosaic should be a lot of fun! Really. I'm looking forward to doing this class. We will make Christmas decorations and possibly presents. I'm doing this in conjunction with Julie (Red Girl Mosaics) and a local social services organization. We are going to charge a couple of bucks and the organization will cover the other material costs. Hopefully this will be a blessing to people. I love mosaic because it's an accessible art form. I'm really hoping to encourage people to be creative, and hopefully realax and have a fun couple of hours in an other wise trying life.

What's a blog for?

2005-11-21T17:05:00.000+11:00

Self promotion? Self obsession? The need of constant affirmation from other people? Self indulgence? A feeling of superiority over people who aren't as smart as you? Starting a cult of people just like you? google making more money? A good chance to show the world just how great you really are? voyeurism?

Not that there is ANYTHING wrong with any of those things... No Australia hasn't made me more negative and pessimistic. It's just given me the geographical challenge of keeping in touch with those not evil people who are hiding amongst all the "evil" Americans.

2005-11-21T16:06:00.000+11:00

Hard working Barista'

2005-11-21T16:04:00.000+11:00

This begs the question... What the Hell??

2005-11-20T21:22:00.000+11:00

Here I am.... in Footscray.

OK... I'm a big sell out!

2005-11-20T15:16:00.000+11:00

A blog is so much worse than a cell phone.