As I write those words I know that no one really wants to. Who wants to know the ugly knitty gritty? but we do have a responsibility to report the truth, at least to honor those who have gone before us, and those who are packing their bags going today...
I was talking with a good friend of mine about the perseption that things like facebook gives ... I was on the verge of deleting my face book (probably will if I ever get 100 friends.... ha friends)
here's a quote from my friend during that conversation that has inspired me today;
"Its quite difficult to "see" how your move back to the states has effected you negetively. "
"in my mind it was like some wonderful homecoming to all your friends for you all or something...."
I knew from the moment that we chose to move to Oz that we were screwed. I knew that we were making a choice that would include lots of pain. That from now on part of me would be in two places.
I knew when we had chosen to move back to the states, again there would be a lot of pain. The people closest to us are very aware of this reality. We all choose pain together. The people who made the choice to get close to us knowing that someday we would go back are champions in my book.
It's all quite risky business... not everyone was up for it. In making that choice you choose pain, but you also choose to live in the moment and man, it's so worth it....
once the pain subsides....
but let me tell you the pain does not subside quickly or at the sight of someone you spent 4 years missing.
The pictures are stuck in your head of the faces of your loved ones at the airport... not to mention the faces of the girl's friends sobbing and reaching out.... can't write about that yet.... ouch!
When you get "home" you love seeing your friends and family... and it fills you with great love....
then the reality that you can't "go back" and I'm not talking about going back to OZ, hits you in the face like a ton of bricks. Life has gone on quite nicely without you, and you wouldn't have it any other way... but now what do you do?
The busyness of the American lifestyle shouts out to you that your close friends don't have much time for you, and you try to just breath and start all over... again....
holding your flailing family together as they suffer loss and reentry.
And yes... life goes on in oz and the voices of your close friends fade as the emails don't come and the phone doesn't ring...
so today we say a prayer for those missionaries who have gone before us and who are packing their bags and leaving today. Saying goodbye to friends and family heading out to the unknown. Drawn only by a conviction that brings great scrutiny... God speed fellow followers.... God speed
1 comment:
God bless each of you in your grief.
Post a Comment